Sunday, January 11, 2015

2015 Returned

Hello everyone! It's been quite a few years since I've kept up with my blog. Indeed these last few years have been very trying for me and I have gone through a ton of personal changes as well as life changes. Adjusting to having more kids in my home and being step mommy to them has been a trying change for all of us involved including the children. Currently, we are in the process of looking for a bigger home so that way we all have some space of our own and believe me it is much needed. Money has been tight especially with three other mouths to feed. I am still looking for a car and am hoping that 2015 brings more oppurtunities and miracles for my family. Last year was hard but we all got through it together and with the help of God and prayer. During that time I didn't write. Not just because I could barely find the time but also because it seemed like every idea I had I loved when I first started writing it and then suddenly, seemingly out of no where I would become completely critical of myself and convince myself that i hated the story and was not in fact talented in any form. *Sigh* the harshest critic that is impossible to please, myself. In reality don't we all have that problem? We create something and despite how good others see it we only see the flaws and ways that it could be completely better. *Sigh*, we just have to keep pushing and moving past that negative voice that tells us to give up and stop trying, you are never going to succeed at this. I believed that for a lot of years and figured all the hopes and dreams I had would never come true. Coming back into writing and touching base with all my old friends who have come so far in the last couple of years because they persevered and made time for what it was that they loved to do and we all started out at the same time when e-publishing was new, we had seen it then as the wave of the future and boy was it. They have succeeded in this field and made a fan base for themselves and I am so proud of all of them. I on the other hand gave up, or made excuses on why it was just to hard to continue writing. It really was a difficult time but I could have still kept my hand on the keyboard as often as I could and ignore the voice in my head telling me I just wasn't good and that I had other more important things to worry about. It was a doing that I brought about all by myself and now it is up to me to undo it. So, in closing this first blog post in five years I would like to thank all my friends who have stayed by me and the ones who pushed me to stay with my dream no matter how hard it seemed. Here's to 2015, a year of new oppurtinities and to reaching for the stars and making dreams a reality!

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